


Survival? Or Freedom?

by Emerald_Raven



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Anxiety Disorder, Bucky is an Anxiety Ridden Perfectionist, Drug Abuse, Drug Withdrawal, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loki is the Adorable Shy Emo, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Real Life, Running Away, Social Anxiety, Steve is a Mysteriously Calm Perfectionist, Thor is the Overfriendly Sports Star Jock, all da fluff, disowned by families
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-07-01 09:04:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emerald_Raven/pseuds/Emerald_Raven
Summary: Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Thor Odinson, and Loki Laufeyson are super close friends that have been with each other through everything. They are not officially out of the closet, but everyone in school knows they are all gay. They don't care what anyone thinks, until they are forcefully outed to their families shortly after their high school graduation. After being disowned by all of their parents, they decide to pack up what little they can fit into Thor's small car and run away to get a small apartment together and get jobs and get money to survive. They are suddenly forced to face adulthood and independence, with the occasional public homophobia, and of course people from their past trying to hunt them down and return them "home". Whatever happens, they stay together, because whether they make it or not, their gang will not be broken.





	1. Prologue Part 1

**Bucky**

    “We should purchase the ‘furnished’ option. It’s not a whole lot more, we’ll have some cash left over, but we have literally no furniture with us.”

“It’s quite a bit extra, but yeah, we’ve got nothing. The furnished option puts in a couch, a table and chairs, a few shelves, and a queen bed in both rooms.”

Bucky pushed the hair back out of his eyes and reread the piece of paper several times in a moment, just to be sure he missed nothing. Beds, they need. Couch, maybe not necessarily, but there was simply a yes or no answer, so they could deal. Maybe they can sell it? Or is it property of the place? Better not get into legal issues. They’ll use it. Table and chairs, for eating, of course. “We’ll have a laundry room with washer and dryer. The kitchen will also come fully furnished. Oven, stove, microwave, fridge, cabinets and drawers and cupboards and a pantry, all we will need is some food. Wait, how much money do we have for food?!” His hands flew to his temples in distress.

“We’ve all got some to spare. And I’m pretty sure there’s a dollar grocery store with cheap off brands nearby,” Steve said. He started rubbing Bucky on his back, Which started soothing him. He got agitated and distressed over nearly everything out of his control. Nothing was going to be perfect for either of them for a while. Maybe a long while. But going broke, bankrupt, and homeless, was not an option. “Buck, just check the ‘Furnished’ option. It’s barely anything compared to the price of beds and appliances bought separately.” 

Bucky lifted his head and his pen, finally marking the last box he had skipped over on the paper. Steve gave him a hard pat on the back, causing him to instinctively nudge him in the crotch for payback, but Steve had memorised his defenses and dodged. “C’mon punk, lets turn this in. I wanna get out of here.”

He and Steve went back inside the leasing office, where he returned the paper and the pen to the man that was helping them. “Thank you gentlemen, we’ll process this and we’ll get a place for you as soon as tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?!” The website had said they could get a room as early as the same day. They needed it today. 

“I know son, our website and automatic hotline say same day, but it means same day processing. We need to make final preparations and finish the furnishing. If all goes well, the person that opens this office tomorrow at 7 can call you and inform you to move in immediately.”

Bucky felt like he was gonna cry. Steve evidently could tell, because he immediately thanked the guy at the desk and pushed him outside quickly. Bucky wanted to yell at the guy, but Steve wouldn’t let him go. “This is only a setback. We can spend a night in the car.”

He took a deep breath before snapping, “What if it takes longer?! What if they take forever and we have to wait like a week?! Steve-”

“Buck!” Steve squeezed his shoulders tightly and leaned his head in close to Bucky’s face. “We turned the paper in, they said they would begin processing and get a place as early as tomorrow. It doesn’t take that long. We’ll be fine. It’s only a day. Maybe two or three. But we won’t be in that car forever. I promise you that.”

Bucky wanted to counter that, but he couldn’t. With everything that’s happened in just the past week, he was too tired. If only something could go right, and soon. Steve moved his hands down to grab ahold of Bucky’s and came in for a hug. Bucky had nothing to counter anymore.

After a moment of silence, Steve pulled away and led him by his hand to the bench near the place Thor said he would pick them up. Bucky waited for Steve to sit and get comfortable so he could do his usual maneuver of sitting right up against him, then leaning against him so that he could lay his head perfectly in line with Steve’s heartbeat. Steve was overly built in muscle, especially on his chest, but Bucky didn’t mind the firmness of Steve’s wonderful, tough pecks. He could always still hear and feel the beating every time. Steve wrapped his arms around him and cradled him closer. Yes, Bucky worked out and was built too, forcing more mass upon Steve, but the man still pulled him as close as possible. This was their favorite thing to do. All through high school, through every panic attack and every test day, every day the project was due or a presentation was set in place, this was always Bucky’s saving grace. The stress of buying an apartment and living in the car another day was gone, and for now, everything is fine.

This only lasted a few more minutes. Bucky gasped and jumped out of Steve’s embrace at the sound of the annoying car horn that he recognised immediately. Bucky thought he’d be used to being startled by his friends constantly now, but they still got him every time. He huffed and gave Thor the middle finger. Did he actually drift off? He didn’t hear any vehicles at all. Steve, still giggling, grabbed his hand as they got in the back seat of the car. 

“Every time Barnes. You're so easy.” Thor laughed at him through the rear view mirror.

“For the record, I suggested not making a scene for once,” Loki added sarcastically. He was in the passenger seat with his sunglasses on, not breaking his gaze out of the window. Typical for him.

Bucky leaned back in his seat while Steve leaned forward to the front and asked “Is everything good with you guys?” 

“We’re pretty good, I believe,” Thor responded cheerfully. “The license plates were changed, my parents names and contact information has been erased from the car record. It is going to cost me slightly more a month without having them listed, but I can deal with it. It’s my car now, no other contact information, and I asked them to make it impossible for my parents to know the new license plate number.” Thor was smiling, but Bucky could tell he was trying to be happy, even though he’s still upset. “And the house?” Thor added, turning around to the back.

Steve answered, “They’re processing our request. Payments been submitted. We got a furnished place. Small, but at least we will have some stuff. The earliest we can move in is tomorrow morning at seven am, but we’ll have to wait and see.”

Thor nodded his head. “Hopefully shouldn’t take too long. I don’t mind sleeping in here for another night. But we have a place, right?”

“Just have to wait for the call,” Bucky said. 

“There’s a park not to far from here, can we at least spend time out of here until it gets late?” Loki asked, not moving at all.

“Definitely!” Thor exclaimed. “Best not to waste this gas either.”

Shit! Gas money! Food money! Money for everything else! Bucky wasn’t ready for this. He remained quiet as Thor turned the car back on and they drove off. 

It was just the four of them now. A couple of new high school graduates disowned by their families now forced to survive on their own. And they were doing it. They had successfully run away, they were safe. Four 19 year old gay guys getting a house together to get money to just survive. The escape suddenly seems like nothing compared to what the future looks like. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Steve**

“For this assignment, I need to ask several different ordinary house owners and/or parents of any age group child/children one general yes or no question. This question is a question that is being debated by the world at this very moment. It is a highly controversial question with some extremely varying viewpoints and defenses. If you feel uncomfortable answering this question, you do not have to. If you are ok with answering yes or no, a general interview questioning the reasons behind your answer will follow. If at any time you feel uncomfortable continuing the interview, you may stop. I encourage you to answer the question and continue with the interview as this is the major final project of my high school career. If you have no questions to ask me, then we may begin the interview.”

Mrs. Odinson giggled. Her husband roughly poked her with a judging look, and she responded with “I’m so sorry, you’re just really adorable and I can already picture you being the world’s greatest interviewer ever. You read that so well and so professional. Go ahead, I’m ready. 

Steve Rogers could feel himself turning red, but he just nodded and said, “thank you for your kind compliment.” His best friend's mom giggles again, her husband verbally telling her to shut up and let him speak. He continued, “Alright. Now first, I just need to hear a yes or no answer from the both of you. Please say nothing else until I say so.”

“Ok,” Mr. and Mrs. Odinson said in unison.

“Do you support the LGBTQ community?”

Immediately their expressions changed. Mrs Odinson was always smiling, always giddy, like a child high on candy, this was unlike her. 

“No,” Mr. Odinson responded. His voice sounded cold, and his emotion was concerning. 

“I also say no,” His wife added.

Steve wrote a few notes down on his notepad. “Can I ask you guys why you gave these answers, one at a time please.”

Mr Odinson went first by simply saying “It’s unnatural, it’s quite gross because it’s unnatural. Men need to be attracted to women, and vice versa. People either have male organs or female organs. I don’t support simply because it’s nothing but wrong.”

Steve wrote all of this down as fast and as neatly as he could. When he was done, he asked, “And you ma’am?”   
“I’m quite the same as him. I don’t know if you can somehow just copy paste his answer as mine, but i’m the same way. Gays and transgenders don’t naturally exist. There’s something wrong with them and they need to be fixed back to normal.”

Steve continued writing. When he was done, he pretended to read his next instructions and cleared the sudden lump in his throat before asking “Just so I can add a perspective to this, what is your guy’s religious background?”

The two parents went silent and looked at each other. Mrs. Odinson quietly said “I believe in God, I just don't really go to church or do actual Christian stuff. And I’m pretty sure he’s the same.” Her husband nodded and agreed with her, and Steve continued furiously writing.

Without looking up from his page, he asked, “Do you think the national and federal government should do something to settle this controversy, do you think the government is doing enough or as much as they can already, or do you think the government should pull out and ignore the conflict altogether? And if you wish, please explain your answer.”

“The government should have never gotten involved. They brought so much attention to it by giving gays and transies rights in the first place, when they should have shut them down or sent to to mental institutions the first time.” Mr Odinson said, quite harshly too.

“Exactly, but now that it’s a growing disease, the governments should be doing something to get rid of it now,” His wife said. 

“Ok,” Steve said, still writing, starting to get shaky and sloppy. “Last question and this is over: How do you think you would react if someone close to you came out as a homosexual or transgender? This could included a friend, cousin, sibling, or eve your own son or daughter.”

“Oh,” Mrs Odinson said softly. “I really don’t know. I can’t imagine anyone I know ever actually getting caught up in any of that, but I would still be supportive and try to get them help immediately.”

“Pretty much that same exact thing she just said,” Mr Odinson followed.

Steve finished writing everything. “That’s it for all of that. Now I just need your ages and ages of your children. Your names will be hidden in the final project and presentation, but numbers will be needed. I know how old Thor is, but I keep forgetting your guy’s ages. And his sister’s. 

“Man that was a very difficult interview. And you got through it so well!” And there’s the childish woman again. “I’m 45, my husband is 48, Hela is 22. She’s actually turning 23 soon. I don’t think she’s going to be able to come home for her birthday though with school and that internship she has, but you’re invited to her party as soon as she returns!” 

“Thank you! I don’t remember her much but I’ll still show up.” Steve faked a smile and got up from the table, shoving his belongings into his bag. 

“Thor should be home soon, do you wanna stay for dinner?” said the same giddy high pitched voice that Steve somewhat knew before.

“I appreciate the offer, but I have two more of these interviews tonight and I need to start figuring out how I’m presenting all of this.” Steve said. He tried to hide the nervous tone trying to sneak out. 

“When’s this thing due?” Mr. Odinson asked. “Also, what class is this?”

Steve, slowly walking towards the front door, quickly lied, “Well, I’m technically doing it for two classes. I’m doing the numbers for statistics, but the interviewing and questionnaire comes from my college prep journalism class. They’re both due next week on Thursday and Friday.”

“A week?! You better not be a procrastinator, I’ll tell your momma!” Mrs. Odinson teased. She was smiling, Steve knew she wouldn’t. 

“Well, I took a long time looking for a good controversial question to ask, then spent days writing out exactly what to say and practice before interviewing. It’s not going to that THAT long to finish.”

“Oooo K then,” She sang. “Good luck Hun and thanks for letting us be in your project! Graduation is only a month away!” 

“Oh don’t remind me,” Steve said with a fake laugh.

“Babe, the kid’s got an assignment to do, let him go.” Mr. Odinson said. “Good luck kid," he added with a wave. 

“Thank you sir. And thank you again guys!” He opened the door and walked out, closing the large door softly, checking to make sure that crazy lady wasn’t watching him through the tiny side window, and sped walk to the sidewalk before sprinting down the street. 

He got to the creek he and his gang always hung out at. It was hidden, isolated, and safe. After side stepping and dodging all the large branches, thorn bushes, and massive field spider webs, he made it to the flowing creek. He nearly jumped seeing the figure, but breathed when he saw it was just Loki, dressed in his pitch black emo wear, like always. He was sitting on the log that just sits slightly above the water, arms hugging his legs tucked into his body. 

“Hey man, how’s it going?” Steve asked. 

Loki just shrugged his shoulders. “It’s going.”

Steve put his bag down and walked over towards Loki. Then he saw all was not well. “This bruise is fresh, new.” He reached out to touch the new injury on Loki’s cheek, but he immediately blocked Steve’s hand.

“Nothing new. He’s just in a bad mood again.” He huffed. 

The whole gang knew Loki’s single father was abusing him. Loki refused to admit it entirely, wouldn’t let them help him. At least they graduated soon. He needed to get out. Not just escaping to the creek every day, but out of that man’s life. “Dude, if Thor’s busy, come to my place. You’ll be better there.”

“I’m fine here. I just wanna be outside. I’ll be fine, it’s barely anything.”

“Well, I’m chilling here for a moment, so,” Steve moved to sit cross legged on his favorite stump, the stump that is just oddly clean shaven off the top, as if the tree was just abducted by aliens, phased out of existence, and left a perfectly flat stump behind. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Homework’s done. It’s weekend. Nothing to do. Just tired.” Loki’s tone was of exhaustion and of nonchalantness. Steve frowned, but Loki was almost always like this. Thor seems to be the only one to get through to him. Thor’s basically the one that saved his life anyway. “How’s your-” He held up his black fingerless gloved hands to give quotations, “-’interview’?” 

Steve sighed sadly. “I got Thor’s parents. I’ve still got three left-”

“Don’t ask my dad a damn thing!” Loki snapped, making Steve jump. “He’s gonna be cruel and harsh. I already know what he will say, just don’t ask him.”

Hearing that in Loki’s deep British accent gave Steve chills. He was right. No one has ever had a pleasant conversation with Loki’s dad. He knew Loki was probably right. The guy was already cruel and abusing his son daily, he would only get worse if that son suddenly came out as gay. Asking the guy this question is probably not smart, not safe. “Alright. Two left.”

“How was Thor’s parents?” Loki asked quietly.

Steve shook his head. He picked up his bag and retrieved his notepad to give to Loki. Loki came out of his little cocoon of darkness to hold the notepad and read it. Steve stood next to him to reread and make sure he got everything down right. He’s a bit traumatised by the answer he received, he doesn’t quite remember everything now.

“Unbelievable,” Loki whispered. “They seem like perfect angels. They love Thor and his sister too. They’re even nice to me and you and Bucky. How could they suddenly-” Loki stopped and just went silent. He handed the notepad back to Steve and retreated back into his cocoon. 

“That’s why I came here. I think I’m gonna wait and interview Bucky’s parents tomorrow. Then I’ll ask my mom tomorrow night, or Sunday. I feel too sick to do another one of these today.” 

Steve went back to his bag and pulled out two bottles of cream soda. Their gang of four worshipped cream soda like a God. He held one up so Loki could see, who just shrugged. Steve couldn’t tell whether that was a yes or no, but he brought it to Loki anyway. At first he seemed reluctant, but then he took it and gave Steve a nearly inaudible “Thank You.” Steve just nodded and went back to his stump. Loki was 18 and terrified of taking anything he didn’t pay for. Steve’s amazed he hasn’t broken into that house and beaten that excuse of a dad yet. He’s amazed Loki’s overprotective bodybuilder boyfriend hasn’t gone in and killed the guy yet. The four of them go to the gym and lift often, Loki not as much, Thor more than all of them combined probably. But Thor’s definitely the biggest of them all, and the one with the shortest temper. Even still, he’s the kindest and the most concerned for his friends. He’s the only one that can seem to make Loki actually feel completely safe and not depressed. Steve pulled out his real homework that’s due next week, not this fake assignment the gang made up to test their parents views on the LGBTQ. No, to test their views on them, the four closeted gay guys that had difficulty feeling safe anywhere except in their gang, or at least in this creek. He would go “Interview” Bucky’s parents tomorrow. He needed to cool off right now. He was not expecting what Thor’s parents would say.

There was rustling coming from the path. Based on how heavy the steps sounded, it had to be Thor. He was probably 200 pounds of muscle alone, every step sounded like a giant. Sure enough, the long blond hair poked up over the final branch, Thor walked into the safety area and threw up his arms with a loud “What’s up my men?!”

“S’up Thor. Heard you miles away. You’re gonna attract everything within a 10 kilometer radius with those steps.” Steve teased.

“Party then!” Thor said, quieter this time. Steve had to laugh. Thor’s Australian accent made it sound like he said something very different.

Thor ignored him and went right for Loki. Steve tried to concentrate on homework, but couldn’t help but watch this adorable interaction. Loki stayed in his cocoon, but was actually smiling, nearly beaming, seeing Thor finally arrive. The big guy went up and almost completely encased the smaller guy with his giant arms. Steve smiled. This is one of the few times you see these two rarities: Loki smiling a real smile, and Thor actually being careful and gentle. Once they started kissing, Steve made a sound of playful disgust and went back to his homework. Not much longer of this left. Homework. 12 years of homework, he was ready to be done. He admits he was able to push the “senioritis” away a lot longer than most, but now it’s setting in, bad, like a bomber plane crash. 

_ One more month _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally downloaded the Sims 4 (1st Sims ever Wooo) and I've been fooling around with ships different universes. I put my two favorite marvel ships into one tiny household and I got this cool, cute, yet tragic and dark idea. Not sure why, but it has spawned something alright. There will be random Sims references here and there. This is a real thing that happens to a lot of people and is pretty common, a lot of things in this story are. I apologise ahead of time for difficult topics.  
> Also, my hiatus is over! I'll post my other works soon too!  
> The name in bold before each section is who's POV it currently is


	2. Chapter 1

He was sitting in his room, just reading. It was fine.

Then he heard the yelling.

Whatever his dad was mad about now, it would still end up the same. 

He heard the banging on the door. It was sloppy, so he was drunk. It was 50/50 on whether he would use all his strength on Loki or not. 

The door was about to break down. Loki put his book down and got ready. 

A phone started ringing. Not his. But familiar. Bucky’s

_ Bucky’s phone? _

__ Suddenly he was laying down, curled on to a sort of uncomfortable seat. Light was beating down on his eyes. He opened them with his hand guarding them, his fist ready. He came face to face with the interior of a car.

_ It was just a dream. _

__ “Uh, hello?” Bucky answered groggily behind him. He remembered now, they were asleep in Thor’s car, Steve and Bucky in the back, Thor in the driver seat, him in the passenger seat. He turned over to his other side. Thor was doing his typical morning stretches. Well, what he could do in this space. “Oh, that’s very good! Yes we’ll be right over!” Bucky hung up before nearly shouting, “We got a place!”

Thor and Steve starting wooing and chanting. Loki just smiled. He was finally happy to have a place. They didn’t have much, but at least they now had something that wasn’t a car. 

Loki and Thor got out of the car and moved the seats back up so Steve and Bucky could sit up. All four stretched for a moment. Loki was about to sit back down in the car when arms suddenly collapsed around his chest from behind. He smiled and let Thor give him little kisses on his cheek.

“Did you sleep well my Loki?” He asked. 

Loki heard a playful tone, but Thor is also good at knowing when he is lying, so he admitted truth immediately to avoid interrogation. “Mostly, until I started to dream of dad, but it didn’t get too bad. I’m alright.”

Thor’s hug got tighter and he peckered even more kisses on Loki’s face. “When we get into our brand new place, I’ll take care of you.” Another longer kiss was planted on the side of Loki’s temple, getting him to elicit a real smile. It was a playful tone, but he knew that when Thor says that, he means it.

“Alright gentlemen let’s go!” Steve said. They got back into the car and Thor wasted no time starting the engine and pulling from the parking lot in the hidden area of the park they found.

Loki picked his sunglasses out from the middle container and grabbed Thor’s too, putting his own on then getting Thor’s on without distracting his driving. He leaned against the seat and let his head rest looking out the window. Sadly he couldn’t watch many trees fly by because the complex was right here. But they had to sit and wait while Bucky got the key from the office. 

“Steve, come with me.” Bucky begged. 

“Do I have to?” Steve whined. “You signed the thing in your name.”

“Yes but I’m socially awkward. Please come in with me.”

Steve sighed heavily but then got up slammed the car door.

Thor’s hand came and slammed over his heart, Loki responded with a small grunt, but gently putting his hand over Thor’s. Polar opposites, but he still loved him so much. 

Only minutes passed when the back door opened and Bucky and Steve got back in. “Apartment 616. Building in the furthest back.”

Thor put the car in reverse and started to back out. “Which road should I be taking?” He asked.

“Right one. Just drive straight back,” Bucky said.

Loki finally looked forward to see exactly how this place looked. Building in the furthest back, of course. At least it looks nicely isolated.

Thor pulled into a parking spot and Bucky was already opening the door. Loki put his sunglasses back into the center and slowly got out. He could already see that there would be one flight of stairs to climb since all the 10s were on the second floor. Not bad. He wears nothing but combat boots with heels anyway, walking long distances isn’t a pain anymore. He heard the trunk pop so he turned and watched the crazy guys get their bags. Luckily he didn’t have much to own and could fit it with him in the front. All these guys had was a couple of smalls duffle bags each of clothes and a few valuable things. Plus the big bag of food behind the passenger seat. That was all. Good thing he’s been slowly stocking up on cash that his father would have just spent on alcohol and meth. 

“Aw, man. Stairs?” Steve whined.

“Dude you whine about everything,” Bucky said. “And it’s only one.”

“Buckman, you lead, you have the key,” Thor said. 

Loki waited to go last behind Thor. After hitting the top of the stairs, Bucky went to the farthest back room and got the key ready. “Hey look, a tiny balcony!” He pointed at a little indent in the wall behind the building that was obviously connected to their place. “Look at all these woods back here. We could set up base camp just like ours back home!”

The mention of Home got everyone to go silent. It was a sensitive topic now. No one wanted to say it but everyone had the same thought.

_ This is our home now. _

Bucky got the door open and Steve nearly knocked him down rushing inside. “Dude check out this place,” he said while tossing his bags down. “Look at this nice couch! They gave us some good furniture!”

Thor and Loki made their way in and also dropped everything to the floor. Loki was not impressed, but not disappointed. For their first place and as little as they had, it could have been worse. They were given a couch and one recliner chair. Even the tv didn’t look that cheap. The kitchen looked the nicest. Every appliance was shiny white and clean. They got a dining table with four chairs. Everything looked in decent condition. The only issue was that everything was white. Too bright, literally no darkness. He felt his gothic aura being attacked. 

“We should pick rooms,” Steve said. 

So they all got up to check out the bedrooms. There was one at the end of the hall and one in the center, right across from the one bathroom. Both rooms looked exactly the same; one twin bed, one dresser, one closet. Once again, everything in both rooms was whitr, no darkness anywhere. Something was gonna have to be done about that. 

“They both look exactly the same. They’re the same size too,” Steve said.

“I guarantee one is off by say a millimeter,” Bucky said.

“Ok Sir Perfectionist, you wanna measure that?” Thor teased.

“How about since me and Buck are already closest, we’ll take the back room and you and Loki take that side one?” Steve suggested.

“Sounds good,” Thor said. 

Each boy went to grab the bags they had just tossed on the living room floor. Loki immediately tossed his bag on their new bedroom floor and threw himself on the bed. It looked like a crappy bed, but it was not surprisingly softer than the terrible thing his father made him sleep on. This whole place was already better than that house with that man.  

Thor tossed his bags next to Loki’s and crawled onto the bed next to Loki. He was tired and already feeling depressed again, but a kiss on the cheek from this guy was always welcome. “Feeling down dear?” Thor asked. 

“Just tired from sleeping in a car,” Loki said. 

“You sure about that?” That was the tone that said Loki had better tell him the truth now.

Loki sighed and said, “Just feeling a bit depressed.”

Thor got out of bed to close the door. Loki sensed an interrogation coming.

“What’s got you feeling bad?” Thor said coming back to sit on the bed with his head above Loki’s face. Loki stayed quiet for a few moments with his eyes closed. He felt a hand go around towards the back of his neck. Loki leaned his head over so Thor could see the fresh injury. “Does it hurt at all?”

“Just don’t touch it,” Loki said. He opened his eyes finally and turned to look back up at the puppy dog eyes above him. “The whole reason we’re here. Being disowned, kicked out, and forced into this. We’ve barely got anything and our families have become our enemies. Well, your families.”

Thor could only make a sad face and nod. He started running his fingers around Loki’s cheek. “We knew it was coming. We knew what they thought. Yeah this sucks a bit, but why stay and suffer and lie about everything? You’re not my best friend, you’re my boyfriend, close partner. Even if we didn’t want to do this and weren't freakin' exposed I don’t know how much longer I could keep that lie up. Also, why stay in places we’re not welcome?”

“You, and Steve, and Bucky, you guys had so much. Look at what we’re in now?”

“Let’s look at some positives.” Loki gave a sigh and got pinched on the ear in return. “First of all, dear Loki, the four of us now have an apartment of our own, and that means we make the rules. You and I now have our own bedroom. We can finally snuggle and not have to hide or make excuses. I guarantee the other dudes are doing that right now. If they’re not already hardcore making out.” This got Loki to give a small grin. “Seriously though, no more hiding. We don’t have to march through the woods just to feel safe hugging each other. No more excuses, no more hiding.”

It was almost painful how right everything he said is. “No more hiding,” he whispered.

“Yep, no more,” Thor smiled. A few moments passed before he said, “We shouldn’t have had to hide anyway.”

“Some people just despise the unusual. And we’re unusual.”

“Shouldn’t be.” 

After a few more moments of silence Loki moved to lay his head on Thor’s lap while Thor laid back against the wall. Loki closed his eyes and let Thor pet his face and hair. It couldn’t really be that bad. This is a small place and not that expensive. The four of them can get jobs and be fine. They live on their own now, they can do whatever they wish.

The thought of money hit him. To Loki, it was fine. But to everyone else, it may not be.

“Hey Thor, can I tell you something if you promise not to get too mad?”

“Anything. What’s up?”

Loki took a few breaths. “You know, my dad was irresponsible, and he made and sold drugs. You know that industry makes a lot of money. But he always spent it on alcohol and other drugs and stuff like that. He neglected me often.”

“Yes, you’ve told me all about that.”

“Well, sometimes we never had food in the house, and he never bought me anything i ever wanted or even needed to survive.”

“Yes.”

“So I had to take some bad measures to take care of myself.”

Thor said nothing but Loki saw the gears turning in his head. He gave a questioning look to Loki. Loki sat up and scooted to the corner of the bed. “Thor, I’m a thief. I know where he hides his drug cash. I needed to buy basic things to survives, like food and body wash and toothpaste.” Loki’s voice cracked and now he could feel his eyes burn. 

“Loki, just tell me, it’s ok.” Thor moved over and put his arms around Loki’s chest and pulled him close. 

“I took money from that stockpile!” He ended with a deep inhale and sob, to which Thor responded by hugging him tighter. Loki had to continue, just to prove he wasn’t actually that bad. “I didn’t take it all. There was always tens of thousands of dollars in cash just sitting there. I only took a couple hundred bills at a time. I only ever spent it on things I needed!”

“Shh, Loki. I understand why. He neglected you, so you did what you needed to survive.” Thor got up from the bed to hug Loki from the front, rubbing his back and resting his chin upon Loki’s head. 

Loki had his head in Thor’s chest. He knew there was more he needed to say between the sobs. “Not everything- was a necessity. All my clothes, my dark style, this- wasn’t cheap. I blew some money on things- I didn’t need! Useless expensive accessories!” 

“And why should that be a bad thing?” Thor said. He pulled Loki away to look him in the eyes.” Your bitch of a dad didn’t care you existed, maybe forgot sometimes! He probably made a million off of that disgusting stuff and spent it on shit he didn’t need! I guarantee the amount you took is nothing compared to the terrible things he’s doing daily! And you know what?! You look fabulous!” 

Loki nearly choked on a laugh from that comment. Thor smiled knowing that one got through. Loki’s smile faded fast. He breathed and slowed down for a moment. “I still took it. I spent hundreds on clothes, and I didn’t get myself cheap or fast food meals, I spent his money on good food, even wasted an extra few bucks switching to organic snacks.”

“So?” Thor pulled Loki’s hair back and used the back of his hand to wipe some tears from Loki’s cheek. “I still think the guy deserved it. You still should report it, but he doesn’t need that money. And honestly, would you have survived if you didn’t?”

Loki could only shake his head. Probably not. The guy never bought groceries. When he got high he would go to the bar and eat. Which was nearly 24/7. Loki knows those organics fruits are probably rotting in his room now.

“You’re a survivor Loki,” Thor said beaming brightly, almost as bright as this damn white room. “You have a good amount of control. How did you not go and buy a sports car or a brand new iPhone with that? Or just a solid gold statue of yourself?

“Why would I need a solid gold statue of myself?”

“Why not! I want one!” Thor said excitedly. He leaned in and gave Loki another strong hug. “You’re not a thief Loki, not a bad one at least. You needed to survive and needed the best dark clothing. I still love you.” 

Loki smiled and melted further into Thor’s embrace. Anyone else should have hated him for that. It seems this guy is physically incapable of hating his partner, or his friends. 

Thor let go and pulled away. “I guess now you won’t hate me for this.” Loki got up to get his bag and bring it back to where Thor now sat on the bed. “I tried to take only small amounts, but I did sort of, well, I saved some cash, just in case.” He saw Thor’s eyes go wide. “Thor, in my mind, I knew one day I’d have to get away from him. I also was pretty sure he would one day kick me out and send me away to the street with nothing, and I wanted to prepare for that day. I took a steady amount every few weeks or so, just in case the worst happened. I never counted how much there was.”

”Loki you cheeky thing!” Thor was getting very antsy and could no longer hold still. This made Loki realise he wouldn’t be mad anymore.

He took out his clothes and laid them all still neatly folded on the dresser. Once he got to that little hidden pocket, he looked at Thor while slowly unzipping it. “You still won’t be mad right? I swear I didn’t want to do this and I would never steal anything else from anyone else but him. Please don’t get mad,” he begged.

“Loki, I know you’re not evil. But he had plenty of cash used for bad things that he could spare for you. I know you’re a good person.” Thor was so reassuring, Loki knew he was being honest. But Loki also could tell he was excited for the money.

“OK.” He reached behind the other papers he used to hide it and took the stack out. He was nearly sure Thor would pass out. 

“Loki that’s like a year’s worth of rent and food right there!” Thor exclaimed. 

“This is to be used on things we need, like food and rent,” Loki said.

“Absolutely.” 

He put the money on the bed and he and Thor began counting all the hundred bills. 

“I got 32.” Thor said.

“58.”

“So that’s, uh, 90 hundreds, 9 thousand,” Thor’s mouth nearly dropped. 

Loki’s mouth dropped. “I stole that much?!” He was horrified. He was figuring maybe a thousand or two but this much? He was carrying that with him this whole time.

“Loki, it’s ok!” Thor went over to hug him. “Loki, listen, we’re a couple of 18 year old that just got kicked out of out homes. We have rent. We have bills. We’ll have issues like food, transportation, clothes, toilet paper and soap, also-” He leaned close to whisper in Loki’s ear, “Insurance.”

Loki shuddered at the word. “You’re not wrong.”

“Think of this as a positive. You’ve basically saved this household for a while. We won't have to panic about money for a while. Loki stopped freaking out.”

“Thor if I knew how much we had we could have been in a better place than this.”

“What’s wrong with this?” Thor said, standing up and waving his arm around the room. “I think it’s fine. And you know what every adult ever says: Everyone needs to have their start in a small cheap apartment before moving to something expensive.”

“Does every adult say that?” 

“My parents do.”

Loki just shook his head. “We need to tell the other two. But i really don’t want to tell them I stole 9 thousand dollars from my father.”

“Then we tell them the truth: That this guy treated you horribly and didn’t take care of you so you stole his drug money to survive and prepare for the future. “OK, how about we say stole his illegal activities money.” Thor added air quotes around illegal activities. Not that it made it sound any better, but Thor’s over dramatic use of air quotes was never to be declined. 

“Can you do the talking?” Loki said. “You make me seem like a better person.”

“But you are a better person. An amazing and caring and intelligent and prepared person.” 

Loki rolled his eyes and Thor leaned forward to kiss him on the nose. He pulled away only an inch before going for Loki’s lips. As big and overexcited and quick as Thor naturally was, he was suspiciously gentle and slow in his kisses. Loki grabbed his Thor’s loose t-shirt to pull him closer and grab his hair. One strong arm wrapped around his waist and the other grabbed the back of his neck. For hours it seemed they stayed here, pulling each other’s lips and fighting tongues for small moments, only to end in a giggle and back to the gentle original kiss. 

Loki pulled away first to breath. Thor gave one more peck on his nose and got up so he could start unpacking all of his clothes and belongings. “You know what I guarantee none of us have?” Thor said.

“Huh?”

“Hangers.”

Loki paused. This was a necessity, that drawer wouldn’t hold all their things. How much more were they missing that they had just taken for granted all their lives? “We should make a list of things. I brought paper.”

“Ah, see, this is why you are the smart one!” Thor said. 

“I’m pretty sure Bucky is the smart one.”

“Nah, he’s scientifically smart. You are wise.”

“I highly doubt that.” Loki grabbed his notebook and began to make a list. It wasn’t much to think of just simple everyday items. 

He had barely begun writing when there was a loud knock on the door. “It’s open,” Thor said without losing his focus on his clothes.

The door opened and Steve immediately said, “You know, you could have opened it.”

“We’re very busy right now,” Thor said waving his shirt in Steve’s faces before refolding it on the bed. 

“We’ll, Buck and I wanna go around and see of there’s a cheap grocery store anywhere and grab something quick to eat. You should drive us, it's your car. After you’re done being busy of course.”

“Loki what are you even doing?” Bucky asked. He walked in to look at the paper. 

“Things we need. A grocery list let’s say. First thing: Clothes hangers. I bet you two didn’t think of those,” he poked Bucky in the arm hard with his pen and went back to writing down Toilet Paper.

“Well, he’s not wrong,” Bucky said. 

“Oh, guess what Loki did!?” Thor said quickly. 

Loki put his head back down towards the paper. 

“He managed to borrow a couple thousand bucks from his dad’s-” Cue overdramatic air quotes, “-illegal activities stash.”

The gasp Steve made could have well indicated an asthmatic wheeze. “Dude how much you get?!” 

“Just nine thousand,” Loki replied quietly, still not looking up.

“Woah, dude, that’s like a year’s worth of rent and food!” Steve said.

“Exactly what I said!” Thor said.

“No way, we’re totally synced!”

“Synced!” 

Thor and Steve did a high five and some weighed handshake following it. 

“Um, excuse me Rogers, you have a secret handshake with him and not me?” Bucky asked angrily.

They weren’t upset with him? Just like Thor they were excited.

“Loki why didn’t you tell us earlier?” Steve asked.

Loki paused and spoke slowly, “I thought you guys would, uh, accuse me of um, being a, well, a thief.”

Bucky shrugged and said, “Well you did steal, but let’s be honest you stole from a scumbag that didn’t need it.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say!” Thor shouted with arms flying in the air. 

“I swear I’m not bad, I’ll never do it again. But from him, because I needed it, and who knew if he would have kicked me out sooner or later.”

“That’s a good point,” Bucky pointed out. 

“Now,” Steve said. “I know that we need to be saving that cash for rent and all that other adult jazz, but guys, I think we should take tonight to go eat something nice for dinner tonight. You know, we all kinda went through hell just this past week, all of our parents and being exposed and all that, and after sleeping in that car and eating packaged snacks for a few days while trying to just obtain this place, maybe we should just take tonight to chill.” 

“I totally think we should hit up a store and get a few things first, but after that I’m game for dinner.” Bucky said. 

“Agreed,” Thor chimed.

“Alright,” Loki said. “I’m bringing this to the table, let’s get a good list before we leave.” 

For the first time, the four were sat at their own table. They took turns throwing out their suggestions and letting Loki get everything down. After about 20 minutes they got up to get back in the car list in hand. It wasn’t very long before they found an Aldi and Dollar General in the same plaza with several other stores and restaurants only a few minutes from their complex. They spent nearly an hour in the stores arguing over prices and brands and pack sizes of everything. The four agreed to treat everything as if they were still nearly broke. At one point Loki slid his sunglasses on and watched from a distance the three bicker over which toilet paper was better. 

“Loki-”

“Just get the damn medium priced large pack.”

And that settled the argument. 

These guys were living together now. 

Boy was this going to be fun.


	3. Chapter 2

**Thor**

“Darlin’ get something good please,” Thor begged. Him and the other couple already decided their order, but Loki was trying to say he wasn’t hungry. “I know you like this stuff, you used to get it a bunch,” Thor kept pressing. “Plus I know for a fact you barely ate anything this morning.”

“I had something,” Loki argued back.

“Not even a half a granola bar.”

“I feel bad for getting anything,” Loki whimpered.

This silenced the group. Thor kept his smile up an said happily, “We’re eating good tonight, we’ve got some cash, we’ve barely had anything good recently, and this ain’t too expensive. Get like ten dollars worth of something.”

Loki sighed for several seconds before removing his sunglasses to look at the menu finally. “Crunchwrap supreme and 3 soft tacos.” He put his sunglasses back on.

“Dang boy, now you’re hungry,” Bucky said. 

“Thank you,” The cashier said, probably glad she finally got the last order in. An easy fifty bucks dropped, but to try and raise the spirits of a group that at one point ate only Taco Bell for a long period of time. Thor loved it the best. Who knows what the meat is, it tastes good and makes everyone happy for a night. 

It wasn’t very busy so the order didn’t take long to come out. The group separated their orders and got back into the car to go home. It was weird to be calling that new apartment home. 

Right before putting the key in the ignition, Thor noticed a small jolt of pain in his left arm. He rubbed the area with his right hand, and it was gone immediately. He shrugged it off as nothing and they got the car started. In all honesty, Thor notes that they could have just walked here, the favorite restaurant is just two streets from the apartment. A great opportunity to jog or walk and make the others do so too.

“You know how unhealthy this shit is?” Bucky said.

“Yet we’re happily eating a lot of it?” Steve said with a mouthful of food already.

“Yep. Fast food is shit in general,” Bucky concluded right before taking an audible bite of something.

“Hey don’t spill this false meat all over the car dudes,” Thor called back. He pulled in the closest parking space and turned off the car. “We’re pulling in the apartment already, could you guys not have waited two minutes?”

Through mouthfuls of something, both men responded with a muffled “Nope!”

The four entered their “home” and sat their dinner bags on their family table. It was a nice sight really, seeing the four of them sitting together and eating together. Each leaving families they thought were perfect, and now here with this life. It was probably going to suck most points, but as long as everyone is together, how bad could it be?

Bucky broke the silence first. “I’ve brought my laptop with me. I say tomorrow we each sit down and look at jobs.” The other three groaned in disgust at the word. “I’m not happy about it either, but we each work 20-30 hours a week, rent and house bills will be easy and we can even start a savings account. We’ve each barely brought anything with us, so eventually we’re gonna need things like clothes and other normal human life things. We’ve got a couple thousand now, it will last us a few months probably.”

Thor noticed Loki looking away from the group at this mention. He feels bad but he seriously saved these guys. None of them ever worked in high school, and any allowance they got was spent on something stupid. The four of them had been immature, they spent irresponsibly, with what they each had at the night of their worst day, they barely made the initial deposits on this apartment, and it was the cheapest one in the city. That didn’t include the first rent payment that was due within their first two weeks of living, with another rent payment immediately after. Thor would have to assure Loki again that he was their saviour later.

“I think first things first, do we have nice interview clothing?” Steve asked. Bucky nodded, but Thor and Loki only looked at each other. They each knew each other barely wore anything even remotely formal in high school unless they were forced to. Steve shook his head and looked at both of them. “You each gotta go shopping. No muscle shirts or running shoes, no leather with 500 belts.”

“But all I ever wear is athletic clothing, it’s gonna be so foreign,” Thor complained. Loki just snorted at him and pointed at his shirt and jacket with the pure silver belts and silver and black diamonds the pattern of a bigger diamond. “That’s also not interview material,” Thor commented. 

“I at least packed a nice shirt and a few of my good ties, I may need a jacket and better shoes,” Bucky said.

“Aw yis let’s go shoe shopping!” Steve exclaimed.

“Gaaaay,” Bucky veered, but in a playful way. The four of them couldn’t really escape that comment.

“Hair products,” Loki finally spoke up.

“That’s a problem for you three,” Steve said, being the only one with hair that could actually be called Short. 

“He’s right though,” Bucky said. He ran a hand through his hair, letting it fling fall back to an inch past his shoulders. “This is important.” 

Thor laughed and grabbed his hair, longer than Bucky’s by several inches, and flipped it around, getting an annoyed sigh from Steve. Loki’s hair was about the same length, but he had some sort of product that made it slick, shiny, and fluffy, like the hair seen in that Black Veil Brides band he loves a lot. 

“Well you guys better not spend thousands of dollars on designer shampoos,” Steve said.

“Designer shampoos,” Thor mocked.

“I don’t really care about my hair, I don’t need 200 dollar hair products.”

“Your hair is short and automatically looks like you take perfect care of it, even though you don’t,” Bucky said. “And I hate you for that,” 

Steve rolled his eyes. “It’s short and easy. You guys should try it.”

“Been there, done that, done with that,” Loki said.

Thor saw that Loki actually ate nearly all the food he got. He only had one taco left. He felt very proud of him for finally eating a meal. With this thought he took a monstrous bite from his grilled stuffed burrito. 

“Well tomorrow, we look for jobs, see if we can get some applications out,” Bucky said. He was such an anxious nerd, but Thor knew they needed him. “Shopping for clothes and hair stuff, tomorrow later, maybe?”

“Nah,” Steve said. “We did groceries today, I don’t feel like doing any shopping tomorrow.”

“Alright, day after tomorrow.” Bucky finished with a bite of his quesadilla. 

Steve took a massive bite from his 7th Doritos Loco Taco. Thor saw this one was not orange, but red. He smiled internally and waited for the hot complaints in approximately a minute and a half. Steve always got a few hot ones and complained about them almost immediately after eating them. Steve always gets three of each Doritos type and always eats all nine of them immediately, what a champ.

After swallowing another bite of his food, Thor noticed a very sharp pain in his stomach. He faked through it and made sure his face didn’t show it. He’s tough, but this one kind of hurt. Probably the evil ingredients of this restaurant mixed in with his recent week of packaged snacks for meals, after months of a good athletic diet with very few fast food breaks. It wasn’t really much. He did realise he didn’t want to finish eating. He kept eating so that no one would question it, Thor never left food unfinished. Though the four went back to eating in silence, Loki now on his phone, each bite made a bad pain that he thought was audible. A last bite and everything was gone, he was the first to get up and toss his trash away in the cool new red trash can they got from the dollar store. He heard a familiar sound behind him and smiled. Steve was breathing in really heavily. 

“Every time Steve!” Bucky said with a hand on his dumb boyfriend’s shoulder. The guy was already fanning the heat from his mouth.

“They’re still, good!” Steve breathed. “Thor, you should, help me out bro.”

Thor picked up the plastic cup on the counter and put it under the faucet. He turned it to the hot setting. It poured out cold and he let it overflow until it began to steam.

“You ass! Cold dammit!” Steve started cursing. 

Thor ignored him and put the hot cup on the table. Bucky was nearly in tears laughing so hard. Steve gave Thor the ugliest look there was. Thor was about to grab the drink and get him something better, but without warning the guy picked up the cup and took a large swig, nearly immediately spitting it back to the cup, but majorly missing it and sending it all over the table

“Why would you do that?!” Bucky yelled, still laughing too hard. 

“Real smart maneuver Steven,” Loki said. He got up to throw his stuff away and headed back to their room.

“I think you two love birds can handle this,” Thor said, starting to head after Loki.

“You gave me boiling hot water!”

“You shouldn’t have dranken it you stupid Daredevil!” Thor left the room and left the two to clean up the mess that he did sort of cause. Of course, Steve can never say no to a challenge so he should have seen that coming. Still not his actions that caused a water mess on their new table. He figured they could go at least 24 hours before their first spill, but nope, barely even 16. 

He closed and locked their door and turned to see Loki sprawled on the bed, still with his 20 pounds of dark clothing on, eyes closed and relaxed. How the guy can lay down in all of that material and not be bothered amazes Thor. Thor was going to take off his shirt and lay down with him, but he got that pain again, this time in his lower chest. That was when he realised what it was.

_ Shit! No! _

He ran over to his suitcase and started tearing everything out of it, looking for one tiny thing. He checked in all his clothes before tossing them onto the floor. He checked all the pockets of the case. He then went to his one backpack and started tearing everything out of there too. Each pocket came up negative. 

“Hey, Thor, you alright?” Loki was at the end of the bed hovering over him. “What’s going on? You don’t look good.

“I need to find something!” Thor said.

“Hey, relax.” 

“I can’t!” Thor got through the final pocket and then started checking everything again. 

He stopped and mentally traveled the past quickly. Then he saw the moment he was packing, back in his old room, before they all came out and got out. He cycled through everything he threw in each bag. 

“I didn’t grab them,” He said quietly. 

“You are truly scaring me,” Loki said. He got off the bed and crouched behind Thor’s back, putting his arms around Thor’s neck. “What’s wrong?”

Thor kept his head down. He wasn’t ready to admit this. In almost a whisper, he just said,“I forgot my pills.” 

“What? You’re too quiet.”

Thor pulled and pushed Loki’s arms away, a bit violently, making the guy jump back to a safe distance. He noticed this and he got pissed. He would never hurt him, Loki was fragile, needed to be cared for gently. Why was he using force now?

“Thor, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” His voice was raising in pitch. Thor knew he was scaring him. He was scared himself. He finally sat down on the bed with his hands covering his eyes. “Please, talk to me. Please?”

He grabbed his phone and pulled up Google, he had to be for sure. 

“Please stop ignoring me, Thor please.”

“I need to be sure,” Thor said, raspily, as if he was actually out of breath.

Loki kept trying to see what Thor was typing but he kept moving the phone out of sight. He read the results. He could already tell, he didn’t need the confirmation.

“Loki,” he said, very quietly, unlike himself at all. “I forgot my pills.”

“What pills?”

“The steroids.”

Loki put his hand over his mouth, terribly hiding his fearful surprise. “Legal, steroids, right?”

“No, I got them illegally, you think I would ever have permission to do that?!” His voice was raised now, more normal for him, but never how he would talk to his Loki.

“Thor! Why?! Those are so dangerous!”

“I know,” He said. He was quieter now and leaned his head back against the wall. 

“But why?” Loki was leaning against the wall next to him. Thor could see he was scared. Of Him. The person that promised to keep him safe, physically and emotionally.

“I’m so sorry I hurt you Loki. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t hurt me. Only scared me. I’m alright. I’m worried about you.” Loki got closer and wrapped his arms around Thor’s neck and leaned his head against his shoulder. “Please, talk to me.”

For just a few moments they sat in silence. Thor knew why. And why he told no one, not his two closest friends or his boyfriend. He took a breath and spoke, “I wanted to be like my dad, and he wanted me to be like him. Athletic, fit, built. I wasn’t getting results as fast as he expected me too and was disappointed and telling me I need to eat more protein and lift more. Someone asked me if I wanted a few pills to test, and I’ve been buying cheap from that guy since I saw it was working.”

He could tell Loki was shaking his head against him. “I had a feeling this was getting really big abnormally fast,” He said rubbing up Thor’s arm. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“For what?”

“For not telling you.”

“I don’t think I’m innocent either. Remember what I did?”

“Loki, what you did saved us so much stress, and you took that cash from a druggie. This was just me cheating at peak health in a very unhealthy way. And now I’m getting the withdraw.”

Loki moved so he could sit and look Thor in the eye. “How bad? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Thor chuckled at the comment. “I need a pill. If i stop taking them I may lose the mass.”

Loki wasn’t laughing. He was giving the face that isn’t seen very often, one of concern and authority. “You need to get off them. They’re dangerous! You’re already huge and perfectly fine like this. But we need to figure out what to do about you not taking it.”

Thor kept a lazy smile. “You think I’m perfectly fine like this?”

Loki wasn’t smiling, but he wasn’t angry anymore. “You’ve always been perfectly fine. I’m not lying when I say I love feeling the muscles. Really.” This got a suggestive laugh from Thor. Loki finally let a smile, but continued, “I think you’re large enough. Really, you’re beyond average, achieved something not a lot can. But I’m really scared, I know what that thing can do to people. In rare cases people die from it. I can see why you did it, but I’m terrified now I’ll lose you to it.”

Thor leaned forward to kiss Loki on the lips. He loved how much he cared about him. Loki wasn’t full of positivity, but he had a heart that not a lot of people could see under the black and metal. It was so upsetting that he cared about Thor more than himself, but he was making progress. 

Loki accepted his lips. Thor brought his hands around to Loki’s face and pulled him in. He wanted to keep kissing him but he felt Loki start to tug away, so he let him. “Will you drop the pills Thor? Altogether?”

“I’ve needed to for a while. I left them back at ho-” He stopped because he couldn’t finish that. Not like he really wanted to, but just couldn’t. “They’re back in my room at my parent’s house. Hidden between the mattress and bedframe. I wasn’t thinking about them. I’ve been hurting a bit recently. Feeling a bit sick. I can tell it’s been a bit since I took them.”

“I really want you to be careful. You should make a doctor’s appointment.”

“Let me ask Google first before we spend money on doctors for nothing.”

“Google is not a professional medical expert, but you have a good point.” Loki went back in to let Thor kiss him again. 

Thor pulled away for one moment to say, “Don’t tell Steve or Bucky about this yet. Please Loki I don’t wanna tell them yet.”

“I understand. They don’t need to know yet.” He went back in for a quick kiss before getting up from the bed. “I need to change.”

“Change? That long hour long process of removing all that makeup and getting 20 pounds of darkness and chains off?”

“Yes. Exactly that.” Loki went to open the door but noticed it was locked. “Why do you keep locking this?”

“Why not?” Thor waited for Loki to glare back at him so he could give him an obvious wink. Loki rolled his eyes and unlocked so he could get to the bathroom.

Thor finally got his shirt off like he originally wanted to and laid back down. He picked his phone back up and started scrolling information on Google. He shouldn’t have started it, but his father had pressured him to consider it, and like all the doctors and parents say, it only takes one dose to get addicted. He couldn’t wait until his parents began selling everything in his room and finding those pills under his bed. 

He couldn’t wait until the day he could think about his parents as parents again.

He still couldn’t believe they abandoned him.


	4. Prologue Part 2

 

**Steve (3 years ago)**

The bell rang and Steve gently packed his bag on his desk while the rest of the horde  charged past him. It was only the first friday of sophomore year and he was already waiting for every weekend of the school year. He of course took every college credit and AP class he could. Only 5 days into the year and he regretted it. It would make his mom proud and surely earn him some cash for school later.

When it was safe he got up and slung his bag around his shoulder while heading out the class. “Have a good day, Sir,” he said to his final period teacher. 

“Yep, yep, you too,” the guy replied buried in his computer. At least its not just students being busy.

Steve walked out the door and was immediately tackled by someone. He wasn’t crushed by the weight so it had to have been Bucky. Thor would have squashed him.

“First friday, punk,” Bucky released his grip and put his arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Are you also already piled with homework? I know I am”

“We’re literally in every class together except the last class of the day,” Steve said as he fell in rhythm with Bucky’s slow strides.

“Oh right.”

“Bucky, are you already losing sleep? We sat by each other every day this week,”

“You know I can’t sleep during the week. My mind is already gone.”

Steve looked over his shoulder to Bucky and saw the guy was already showing redness in his eyes and was slightly squinting. Steve wasn’t as anxiety ridden as Bucky was 24/7 but he knew he’d soon be this way too. 

“Well let’s go to the Circle today, we can work on something together there,” Steve said.

“Sure, see ya in a bit,” Bucky gave Steve’s shoulder a light squeeze and they parted at Steve’s locker. Bucky’s was in a different hallway. 

“That’s gay, dude,” came a muffled voice.

Steve looked over as the three guys that were watching him and Bucky were already turned the opposite way and speed walking out, laughing.  

Steve opened his locker with a disappointed head shake and just dumped every textbook in his bag, Lord knows he’ll need each for at least an hour the weekend. He was moving his books around in a space reserving manor when he heard two pairs of heavy footsteps coming up to him. He looked up to see his buff friend Thor happily strolling his way. Steve waved at him and then noticed someone following him. Steve couldn’t really tell if this was a man or woman, they had very long and silky pitch black hair. The black clothing and makeup and large laced boots gave off a feminine vibe. Steve finally got his zipper unjammed and zipped and let his bag drop to the ground so he could give Thor a hug.

“That bag is going to break the ground if you keep doing that friend,” Thor said in his heavy Australian accent, only slightly concerned. “You really need every book in there?”

“Yes. This is my life and you know that,” Steve said sadly. As the giant man finally let him go, he looked behind him at the person that followed him. “New friend?”

Thor turned around and pulled the guy over with a hand on his back. “This is Loki. Hes a new exchange student all the way from London.” Loki looked at Steve, who looked back. He had a deep black makeup over his eyes. Thor used the word He, but this man’s eyeliner was a million times more on point than most of the girls in this school. “Loki, this is one of my best friends, Steve Rogers. He’s a bit of a nerd.”

“Gee thanks Thor, glad you got my back. Hey Loki, Welcome to the Americas. Hope the country is treating you well. Welcome to Shield City High School!” Steve held his hand out for a shake. Loki looked at his hand and very slowly held it out to shake. Steve knew the anxiety immediately because Bucky did this too. Observing this, Steve grabbed Loki’s hand and shook very lightly, much different from the tough guy shake he was used to. Loki’s hand was not just doing a handshake, but actually shaking. From nervousness or fear, he couldn’t tell. 

Thor pitched in, “We also like to call him Captain America, he’s so patriotic.”

Steve shook his head. “Don’t, don’t call me that. Thor’s just being an ass.”

Loki looked Steve in the eyes. “I see,” was finally the first words out of this guy’s mouth. The Gothic look, the shakiness, the way he avoided eye contact and then couldn’t break it. Now to wonder how Thor found this guy.

“Oh boy new guy,” Bucky said marching down the hall. He dropped his bag on the ground, also making a concerning booming sound, this one creating an echo in the now empty hall.

“Seriously, you too? I can’t wait to see those bags sink into the Earth, bringing your backs with them,” Thor said. He went and gave Bucky a quick hug before turning him towards Loki. “Loki, my other best friend James Barnes, but everyone calls him Bucky, and that one’s for real.”

“Loki, nice to meet ya. You a freshman or new here?” Bucky held his hand out and Loki followed the same nervous procedure. 

When Loki didn’t respond, Thor answered, “He’s in our grade. Just moved from London.”

“England?!” 

“No, Russia,” Steve teased.

Bucky gave Steve an unamused look as he released Loki’s hand. 

“So, gentlemen,” Thor started in his business tone. “I was wondering if it’d be alright if Loki joined us at the circle. He’s new with not a lot of local friends, plus he doesn’t live in a, um, positive, environment, so I was thinking we could let him hang with us.”

Steve saw that Loki was looking at the ground and letting his hair cover his eyes.  _ Bad environment, huh? _

“I mean, I guess why not?” Bucky shrugged. “Let’s get to the Circle, I’m tired of this building for the week.”

“Can I ask what is, the, uh, Circle?” Loki was almost unnoticed with how quiet he is.

“It’s a little secret place we hang out. We’ll show you the way.” Thor clapped his hand onto the guys back again.

The four walked side by side out of the building, just like how Steve and Bucky and Thor usually do. They went to the edge of the school gates and took the sidewalk down the long main road, and the biggest road in the small city. After walking past a few subdivisions, the initial three stopped. 

Thor took the lead. “Alright so see where these two trees stand? Notice they’re kinda crooked farther apart than the rest of the trees on this sidewalk and they’re a bit crooked, their leaves and branches intersect at the top. It looks oddly like a natural forming letter A. There’s no visual path, but we’ve made one.” 

Bucky went to the opening of the trees and curtsied towards the path. “After you guys,” 

Thor led Loki onto the path that left the man made sidewalk and straight downhill on the walked on patch of grass. Steve followed and pulled Bucky along by his shoulder. After a few steps down, Steve took one look behind them to make sure no one was following. They were in the clear, so Steve snaked his hand into Bucky’s. Bucky accepted the hand and gave Steve a sideways smirk. They had only come out to each other as questioning their sexualities a few months ago, but they decided to start dating anyway. In secret, and still in confusion, of course. but it was well worth the high pitched childish “Hello” back in the 5th grade. 

Up in front Thor continued the tour. “And so now as you see, we went downhill for a bit. Here where the ground is level, if you walked perfectly straight down, you come to this giant shrub. Turn left and you’ll follow this path. Notice we put little pebbles every perfect 12 inches apart each side, the sides 6 inches apart. You can thank Bucky being a perfectionist for that. And don't worry if you touch one, they were superglued to the ground.”

Bucky and Steve fell behind so they could do a bit of dance walking holding hands down the path. For every two steps done by Steve, Bucky mimicked. 

“So,” Bucky skipped, “Thor found a new guy and wants to bring him to the Circle with us? You think he likes the guy?”

“He keeps holding onto the guy, and this Loki seems to be cool with it. I think there’s something wrong with him though.” Steve jumped onto the boulder off the path and drug Bucky behind him.

“The outfit is frightening. He’s clearly Emo, like Black Veil Brides Emo.” Bucky pulled Steve and they leaped off the boulder in unison, left first followed by the right, pausing to regain their backs that were drawn down by their textbooks. Bucky paused in deep thought. “Or is it Goth? I know there’s the different styles, like Goth is based of a Victorian era and is more of a, fine and, uh, professionally dark wear. Emo I think is more of a rebellious style. Maybe he’s a bit of both?” After staring off into outer space for several minutes ranting about the types of black style, Steve slapped his ass to shut him up. It worked. In fact, Bucky’s jaw fell open and he stared at Steve speechless.

“What? You need your brain this semester.” Steve wrapped his arm around the poor orientation confused boy and they started walking again. Bucky soon snapped out of it and snatched Steves hand so they could do their walk again. After walking the zig-zagging path of varying glued rocks, they came across the tree that had been struck by lightning ages ago but still remained standing. Making a right at the tree, they continued though the natural path of just shrubs, Steve moving behind Bucky so they could fit through without the shrubs ruining their legs. “There is seriously something wrong with Loki. Remember when Thor said he didn’t have a positive environment to live in? You see how awkward he is, he’s amazingly more awkward than you.”

“Hey,” Bucky said, and as gay as he could make it sound.

“Shut up, you were actually diagnosed with social anxiety.”

“Yeah, true.” Bucky acknowledged, defeated.

“But seriously, I think the guys being abused by his parents. Or whoever his guardians are. I can tell the look.”

“Because of all those dramas you’re addicted to?

“Yes, but also an article I read about abused children and did a report on for extra credit

in English last year. I wonder why his family just up and moved from England to America. And New Jersey of all places.”

The shrubs continued for a few minutes. This one was actually a natural trail, there was just a start and end in the middle of the woods, so no one knew this path of grassless, treeless, brushless dirt existed. Steve could tell Thor was already at The Circle and explaining the whole ordeal of it to Loki. Steve had started to speed up but Bucky tugged at his hand to slow him down. “Buck, what’s wrong.”

“Just need to see if you’re alright.”

“About what?”

Bucky stopped walking and held still in place on the path. “Earlier, in the hall, I, remember? I had my arm around you, and we were just walking to our lockers, and those guys, well, I think you heard the, yeah-”

“Oh, I heard them.” Steve’s eyes rolled rolled back and stayed there for a moment. He could remember the vocal tone of the soft little whisper.

“I knew that Josh was one of them.”

“Yeah, I saw him.”

“He wasn’t the one that said it though. The dark brunette dude said it. Josh and whoever the other blond guy was just laughed with him.” Bucky grabbed Steve’s other hand so he could face him. “I’m just worried this is gonna be a problem. I’ve been doing the thing with my arm around your shoulder since we met, but now, it’s, well, it’s just obviously gay, and that attention worries me. And now that we’re actually, well, we are actually-”

“Gay,” Steve sighed.

“Yeah, that.” Bucky sighed right with him. “And we are actually, I guess dating is the right word. Before I wouldn’t have cared. Now,” he stopped there.

“Let’s not be affectionate in any way whatsoever in school. We’ll just have to keep it in The Circle.” Steve said solemnly. It wouldn’t be too difficult, but it does suck now that a bunch of idiots might be on their case now. Josh had always been a dick figure. He was never purposely mean, just there to laugh at other mean people and back them up. The other two were unknown people. Steve silently prayed that a rumor wouldn't start. Rumors were common in their school. Life threatening rumors sometimes. And of course they know the school won't do anything much for the victims.

“I still wanna date you Steven, I really do. I just don’t want word to get out.”

“I fully agree. We’ll just have to do one of those secret woodland relationships instead.”

“You do realise all of those secret relationships in dramas are always revealed somehow, often in a terrible manor too, right?”

“That’s TV and books. Hopefully no one cares.”

“I’m worried about our parents. Mainly yours. Mine are atheists that don't really care about people's’ lives. Yours though? I know you guys are Catholic. Not saying the stereotype is true, but I just feel like they’d, I don’t know, they’d do something awful to your for being this.”

Bucky had a point Steve didn’t want to admit. He still followed the Catholic ways of his family, but he was an activist and progressive. He never had a problem with the LGBTQ+ community, openly supported them sometimes, even before he had any idea he was one of them. His conservative family?

“They’ll never know,” Steve said sourly. “Not until a better time. Maybe never.”

Bucky leaned in and hugged him. “I don’t want to have to hide, but we should.”

“Still secretly dating though?” Steve held up an open palm.

Bucky clapped his hand to Steve’s and they wrapped fingers. “Absolutely.”

They stayed there just a moment. Bucky started leaning first, but Steve just went for it. He went in a just slammed his lips to Bucky’s. Bucky had to have been surprised, but he just kissed back. Steve waited a second before opening his mouth to grab Bucky’s top lip, Bucky grabbing his bottom lip. The two suckled each others lips for several moments, at one point Steve’s hands went up to wrap around Bucky’s neck, whose hands went to Steve’s face. Minutes had to have passed by now, but who cared. Steve released first. He pulled away but kept his eyes closed. Bucky leaned back in and connected their foreheads so the two could just stand there and breath.

Steve finally opened his eyes and saw Bucky looking at them already. The two just smiled at each other like idiots.

“Did you have any idea what you were doing there?” Steve asked.

“Nope.”

“Good, me neither.”

For another moment they stayed close before finally separating and standing back. Steve reached for Bucky’s hand and the two got back to walking the path again. They picked up the pace and in a few moments when the shrub path had ended, they came upon the spider’s web. It was just a web of silly string now, but a couple years ago it had been a real web. The silly string was made to keep the monument marked. Steve, Bucky, and Thor had gone hiking a summer two years ago to see how lost they could get. Steve had not been paying attention and went ahead to jog through the two big trees up ahead. He didn’t know there was a sudden decrease in the land, or that right above the open land between the trees was something terrifying. There was a large and very random boulder right before the trees, so Steve had ran to the boulder and used it to propel himself into the air. Sure enough, his head landed right into the massive, massive, massive web of, not one, but three, massive field spiders. He knew immediately it was a spider web and instinctively landed and rolled himself back to his feet, then immediately ran into the small stream at the bottom of the ground dip. Bucky and Thor rescued him and guided him through his panic attack, which included secretly killing two of the spiders while Steve had gone under water. Thor had to pick him up out of the stream and lay him down on the large stump. After Steve’s panic, the guys took a break and observed the place. They noted that they were surrounded by large trees and large bushes, yet in this little oval patch where small stream began as a tiny creek, there was not many trees or bushes, just dry dirt. The guys decided that this place was too cool to just look at and go. They decided that this would be their “Secret Base.” Of course, all they do is come here and do homework or work out or talk about things their parents would punish them for saying out loud. This open area was clearly an oval. Not a perfect oval, but obviously too long or short to be a circle, so for the hilarity of irony, they called the place “The Circle.” It sounded mysterious and ominous, and if anyone would ever want to find this Circle, they would miss this place because it was an oval, not a circle. Hopefully. 

The Circle consisted of two large tree branches that protruded out from the biggest trees on the circle border on opposite sides of the creek that were low enough and wide enough to sit on and long enough to lay on. There was the stream that went further past The Circle, but inside The Circle was a round creek of about three feet deep that could be waded in. Probably unsanitary, but the trio had no care. And of course, that one strange anomaly that was the massive tree stump, a perfect circle with an almost perfect 7 feet diameter, and cleanly shaven off the top. It’s smooth enough to hand write an essay on and, if you at least bring a sheet, actually not that uncomfortable to sleep on. Thor does push ups and other floor exercises on it a few times a week. Bucky had made a joke that it looked like aliens had tried to abduct it with a phasing beam, they just left a perfect stump behind. It came to be called the Multipurpose Mystical Stump, usually said between the guys as “MMS” but mostly just pronounced as and called the “Immz”. 

Steve and Bucky stopped underneath the silly string memorial. Bucky stopped Steve and pointed up. “Man, you remember that day Stevie? The spiders?”

“Bucky, how would you feel if I punched you in the stomach every time you bring that up?” Steve said as serious as he could manage.

“Nothing, because you don’t have the heart to do such a thing, and you know I physically can’t stop remembering every time I see that web.”

“I should burn this thing.”

“No it’s a monument dammit!”

“Nice of you to finally join us!” Thor shouted. He was standing proud and tall on top of the Immz while Loki stood awkwardly on the ground next to it. “And I only saw from behind, but he jumped and then just vanished over the horizon. Then we heard screaming. The a splash of water. Then Me and Bucky saved his life from the evil spiders!” Thor clapped his hands and laughed at the conclusion of the story.

Steve was still unsure of Loki. The guy was looking around and was in a very defensive stance. Every few moments he would look at Steve, then at Bucky, then up at Thor, then back at his surroundings. He’s either terrified to death or is some government spy scouting the place. 

Steve let his thousand ton bag slide off onto the ground and hopped onto the big branch closest to him and Bucky, letting the other man toss his bag and hop next to him. He didn’t get close though, not yet. Thor jumped off the Immz and sat down in the center, inviting Loki to sit by him. Steve could tell Thor had a crush on this guy. 

“Are you two together?” The small British Accent came from nowhere and caught everyone off guard. 

Loki was looking directly at Steve. He shifted his glance to Bucky, then back to Steve. Steve looked at Bucky, looking for an answer. “Why do you ask?”

Through countless breaths and many stutters of the tongue, Loki managed to spit out slowly, “Well, I just wanted to know, if you guys were, because if you are, and you guys were holding hands on the way here, and walking close, and now you’re sitting kinda a little close, and you’re here, in this Circle, that means The Circle is a safe place. Right?”

Loki couldn’t see it, but right behind his head, Thor’s face was lighting up in shock and hopefulness. Steve was internally screaming at this point, Bucky probably was too. Thor seriously did just drag his terrified new-to-the-states crush into the middle of the woods hoping for the right orientation. He was muscle smart, but not really other people smart. 

“You’re safe here.” Bucky said. In that moment is seemed as if Loki suddenly started breathing. He relaxed a bit even. Bucky looked at Steve, who gave him a single nod. The two looked back and Bucky continued, “Steve and I just came out to each other, and to Thor, at the beginning of this past summer break. We started dating that same week. No one outside the Circle knows.”

Loki’s eyes widened. For a moment, it looked like his lips were forming a smile.

“I also came out the same day they did,” Thor interjected. Loki turned to look at him. “I didn't have anyone to pair up with that same week though unlike those two.”

Loki turned back around and looked at the ground for a moment. Steve was about to say something when he was interrupted by that quiet voice, “I’ve told no one. No one until now. I’ve never been safe enough to do so.” Loki looked up towards the couple on the branch. “You guys will accept me, since we are, basically, in the same place, right?”

“Absolutely!” Thor said. The puppy jock was so God awful at hiding his excitement.

“Well, can I say it out loud?”

“Do it!” Bucky urged.

“Alright. I’m gay.”

The poor thing nearly jumped off the Immz when Thor started cheering. “So sorry Loki, I get excited over any small celebration!” He reached out and helped Loki sit back on the Immz. Steve and Bucky sat on their branch and clapped and smiled, like the reserved geeks they were. 

“Is that why you brought him with us Thor?” Bucky asked.

“Oh no I brought him because of something else. I had a suspicion though.” Thor rubbed his chin in a detective drama way at Loki. Steve noticed Loki was looking at Thor a lot more now. He could already see this being tried. He just didn’t know how it would play out. Looks can be deceiving, but how could a sports and workout addicted, overly outgoing, stereotypical Jock dude and a super reserved, darkness clothed, stereotypical Emo dude get along in a romantic relationship? 

“Why did you bring him?” Bucky asked. Thor stopped smiling and Loki visibly held his breath. “Not being rude, but we normally don't bring people here. I was wondering if he was special, maybe to you Thor?”

Loki turned and Whispered something to Thor. Steve and Bucky did a classic move of looking at each other and shrugging on cue and looking back in just a few short fluid movements

“Ok,” Thor piped up. “He wants me to explain. Monday, first day back, I caught Nick’s crew trying to bully him, I stepped in. We have a few classes together so we’ve hung out a bit in and in between. Well, Loki told me a bit of his story today. So, his dad fled from life and family in London to live somewhere else. He’s a single dad, but not a good one. Loki just said he hates going home when the sun is still out because his dad isn’t nice and I felt like I should help him and I didn't know what to do so I offered to be a friend and let him take refuge here. We’re a good safe group in a good safe place, I did think it would be bad at first but I had a strange feeling he would fit in here.”

Loki had just been nodding his head when appropriate while Thor talked. Steve was totally right. No bullshit about his dad being “mean,” he knew he was being abused, and he could tell this guy will never admit it directly. Steve knew an abuse case when he sees one, and that no one will admit it. He’s still trying to convince Bucky his parents forcing him to get all perfect grades “or else” was also abuse. They’ll never admit it.

“We come to hide here from our parents and our classmates all the time,” Bucky said. “The outside world doesn’t care about us out here, and that’s perfectly fine with us. The three of us have each other. We’ll help you too.” Steve loved when Bucky went into psychiatrist mode. It was so sweet and soothing, attractive too.

“If at any time I should leave, please tell me,” Loki said, head dropping to the ground.

“Absolutely not!” Steve yelled. “If you’re not safe, you come here, alright? If your dad is abusing you you come here.”

“I’m not being abused. He doesn’t actually hurt me.”

_ Shit, there it is _

“I’m sorry, I just mean if he’s upsetting you and you need some freedom or fresh air, or both, come here.”

Loki nodded. He was looking up away from the ground more. “So, what do you guys do here?”

The original trio simultaneously went “ehhhh,” for a few good seconds. 

“Really just hang out,” Steve said. “We come here and talk. During the school year we do homework here almost every day. You might catch me and Bucky sleeping on top of our textbooks here and there on the Immz. Or on the branches. If we’re not doing stuff at the gym we’ll be doing stuff out here. If you’re into benching logs, this is the place and Thor is your dude-”

“Log benching, here, 5pm every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday!” Thor shouted.

“We’ll bring junk food and eat breakfast or lunch or dinner out here often. There’s a trash bag over there-” Steve pointed next to the opposite large branch with a bag hanging off a tiny branch, “-don’t litter, this is our nature spot, even though we eat so much painfully unnatural and artificial food in this place-”

“Aye speaking of that who wants to go get some tacos from the bell?” Bucky suggested.

“Ah yes, Taco Bell, one of the worse places, yet the place we eat from the most. Hope you’re ok with how much fast food we eat.” Loki only nodded his head. At least he was looking at Steve and the others when they talked. It seemed like he was becoming more comfortable.

“Let’s get food,” Bucky said sliding off the branch.

“Buck it’s barely 4,”

“Food doesn’t have an alarm dear.”

“He’s right you know,” Thor pointed up in acknowledgment and meme mimicking. “Come with us and get some food Loki. Or if you want something else I can take you to whatever restaurant you like. Or if you’re not hungry? It is a bit early and maybe you actually have a schedule unlike us.” Steve knew what Thor was doing. Get himself and Loki alone. Seeing that Loki appears to be enjoying Thor the most, Thor probably doesn’t have to try for the guy’s attention. He’ll try anyway, being the romantic sap he is. 

“Sorry, I’m not quite hungry yet,” Loki nearly whispered.

“Well, I’ll stay here with you if you like!” 

Steve and Bucky were mid head shake when Loki actually replied, “I’d appreciate that.”

When they look back at Immz they realise Thor had scooted up to be more next to Loki and Loki was actually looking at Thor. Hell, it kinda looked like he was  _ smiling _ . 

Steve made a nodding motion at Bucky as he picked up his bag. Bucky got the picture and picked up his too. Steve waved to the two guys still sitting on the Immz. “We’re gonna go ahead and do our homework in the taco lounge since we’ll both probably be ordering more than once. If we don’t come back here before tonight, then we’ll probably see you guys tomorrow.”

“Sounds awesome!” Thor shouted. “Have fun boys, don’t pass out in the restaurant!”

“No guarantees but we’ll try,” Bucky said with a wave. “Nice meeting ya and welcome to the group Loki.”

“Yeah, welcome dude!”

With that the couple headed out through the trees.

“Ah, good old spider web, such a memory-”

“Stop bringing up the damn spiders!” Steve said with a punch to Bucky’s shoulder. Just a light punch. They wandered down the path holding hands while Thor’s laughter echoed behind them.

“I think they’ll be just lovely,” Bucky said.

 

**_PRESENT_ **

 

Steve was at the library. He’d sent in several dozen job application in the past couple hours and was just scrolling through old messages on his phone as a form of a quick mental break. He didn’t have a lot of messages from Loki, so he didn’t have to scroll back to his first contact with the guy. 

It was that day when Thor first randomly brought the guy to their super secret club out of nowhere, which, looking back now, was a bit crazy since no one knew him well, but the three are glad he came around. He made Thor incredibly happy and Loki in return was mostly saved from a terrible home and also made happy. It didn’t take that long for him to warm up. The guys learned about his clinical depression and suicidal tendencies, but nothing could ever come between Loki and his sass and sarcasm. Steve read through every random message that ended with some weird nickname, in a playful insulting nature of course The guys also found out he had a thing for tricks and pranks. They were all harmless, some were messy surprises, and most were aimed at Thor. They were anything ranging from putting toy snakes in a chip can to hiding a glitter bomb in Thor’s gym bag. He had one day hidden in the circle and thrown a rubber spider toy at Steve as he was coming under the web, Bucky and Thor hiding and being nothing but witnesses Steve scrolled back and saw the message Loki had sent apologising for the spider. Apparently it was Thor’s idea as a joke, but it was Loki’s to actually get the spider.. They tricks weren’t and aren’t often, but they were good because it meant Loki was in an exceptionally good mood, bad because it usually meant a bad day would follow soon. Steve soon reached that first message. The one that was the first day. He and Bucky had been working at Taco Bell for hours, getting homework done, getting projects started, and also making a tentative year schedule with all their syllabuses. It was hitting 10 at night and the couple had gone through several menu items and two full lead pencils each. They had started packing up to leave when both got a text from an unknown number.

“ _ Hello, it’s Loki. Thor gave me your number because he thinks I should have it. I need to thank you for everything today, I never knew I’d actually find people like that, like me. I hope that we can be friends, I need real, accepting people in my life. Today has been the first good day in a long time. Thank you. Have a good night.” _

He had copy pasted that same message to Bucky too. It was a good feeling getting that message that night. It took his mind off of the gnawing regret of signing up for so many higher classes for the rest of the night.

That day was full of so many firsts. First meeting with Loki, followed by Thor’s first date with Loki. 

His and Bucky’s first intense conversation about their relationship, even though it had been three months already. 

The first time Steve grabbed Bucky’s butt.

Their first kiss.

Their first homophobic interaction.

Wouldn’t be the last for some of these.

He reread Loki’s first message one last time. He could read through all his chat with Bucky, but that would take months to read. Besides, he had adult stuff he should be doing. He turned his phone off and got back to the computer, back to work, to find work.


End file.
